Mistrust

He had said that so many times. I´m sorry. From now on it will be different… She was split in two halves, one in the land of hopes, the other rooted in the grim reality of a frozen world in which nothing ever changes. She always tried to reach the bottom of his eyes. Talk to me, talk to me, please… This is not you, isn´t it? Who are you? Then, the recurrent chest pain, the nausea, that pale smoke around him… the conviction he was not there, nor even his shadow…

What am I going to do now? What am I going to do?

Photo: Image from the series ‘Nan and Brian in bed, NYC’, 1983 © Nan Goldin

Pure house fall session

After a bittersweet clubbing experience this weekend -basically a back to back session at a certain club in which a couple of way too energetic DJ’s lacked coordination, played totally different styles and ended up confusing and enervating some of us in the dancefloor-, I was in the mood for a coherent mix both in style -house, in this case- and evolution, that is, a mix that grows complex while maintaining a vigorous tempo from the start. Or maybe it was I just needed some cheerful sophistication on these sunny and kinda chilly fall days. As usual, enjoy.

Tracklist:

01 Neil Bainbridge · Radio tonic (Craig Hamilton mix)
02 Fabio Bacchini · Blue light jazz (Real time hand motion mix)
03 Mr. V · H.O.U.S.E. (original)
04 Fabio Bacchini · Funk player (Espinosa & Dan mix)
05 Jake Childs · The underground (Inland Knights mix)
06 M2W · Shame (Jon Cutler distan dub)
07 Phil T. Project · Love commandments (Davidson Ospina mix)
08 Koyla ft Jrod Indigo · Promise land (Awaaz mix)
09 Daddy Funk 45 ft Lovella · Stand up (Clark & Benham instrumental mix)
10 Danny Clark · Fading to grey (Central Avenue instrumental pass)
11 Electrocker · La mala educación (Lowcut Arrow deep groove mix)

Download
[67:04, 76,8 Mb]

Photo: ‘Lighten-up momiji in the dark’, 2006 © yoshiko314

Aromas

Tenía el carácter más voluble que quepa imaginar, pero también el mejor de los trabajos. Era catador de té. Tras su habitual sueño agitado e insuficiente, los efluvios del té negro obraban el milagro de reconciliarlo con la luz de la mañana. La acidez relajante de la bergamota abortaba el vaho de irritabilidad con el que invariablemente iniciaba el día. Despreciando los consejos de su gremio, que recomendaban una transición gradual de lo suave a lo complejo, prefería iniciar su jornada ocupandose de un robusto Pu-erh, procedente de Yunnan, que combinaba con gengibre y cortezas de naranja. Atender a las distintas texturas de la mezcla que sostenía en la palma de la mano, el cítrico que cedía con facilidad a la presión de sus dedos, y las evanescentes notas de las pálidas raíces mentoladas, que parecían estar en todas partes y en ninguna al mismo tiempo, conseguía fijar su atención de tal manera que las horas lo conducían al mediodía casi sin darse cuenta. Cuando podía elegir, reservaba el chai para la tarde. No sabía por qué, pero el vapor dulzón y especiado del chai de Cachemira, saturado de cardamomo y nuez moscada, le recordaba a las fiestas de cumpleaños de su niñez; en otras ocasiones, la misma combinación suscitaba visiones de carnaval o pasacalles, cuyos participantes ocultaban sus rostros pero desprendían olores familiares al pasar por su lado. Estas imágenes lo ponían siempre de buen humor, al contrario que el perfume del rooibos, acidulado y metálico, que tenía la virtud de dejar su mente en blanco. Muchas veces se sorprendía escrutando un puñado de sus estrechas hojas verdes, como si aquel manojo vegetal fuera a revelarle de dónde procedía y cuál era su particular historia. Aquellos días, cuando ya todos se habían marchado y sólo quedaba su lampara encendida en todo el almacén, solía abrir una cajita de madera de boj en la que guardaba un tesoro, una pequeña cantidad de Oolong de Jade que él mismo había recolectado un año antes. Aproximarse lentamente y con los ojos cerrados a aquellas hojas oscuras y enroscadas como cenizas le conducía de inmediato hasta las laderas de la escarpada región taiwanesa de Nantou, hasta sus amaneceres de niebla helada, hasta el espeso humo de las hogueras del valle que la lluvia dispersaba al caer tarde, y hasta la mirada atrevida y adolescente de Mei-Mei, cuya sonrisa feliz, contemplada de soslayo entre los arbustos de té cada mañana, lo había cautivado durante largos meses. Antes de abrir los ojos de nuevo, cerraba con cuidado la caja y la depositaba en la estantería. Después apagaba la luz y caminaba hacia la salida mientras sus recuerdos volaban lejos, muy lejos de allí.

Photo: ‘In the morning’, 2007 © tildi

Let me be multidimensional

As any other higher education institution in North America, the university that currently harbors me is swarming this week with thousands of new students arriving for the start of the academic year. A walk around the crowded campus allows one to perceive the multicultural, multiethnic nature of this country, as young individuals of all races, languages and cultural backgrounds move around getting ready for classes and the needs of student life. All over the place, one may find official university posts or companies offering a variety of administrative or commercial services or organized groups of students trying to get fellow students involved in a wide range of voluntary activities. Among these, I have not failed to notice an extraordinary profuseness of groups basically defining themselves by means of one communitarian trait or another. Let´s see… we have religious groups (”Ambassadors for Jesus”, “Christian Students Association”, “We are Jewish”, “Korean Campus Mission”, “Muslim Students Association”, “Sikh Students Association”…), national origin groups (“African Awareness”, “Asian Canadian Cultural Organization”, “Bangladesh Students Association”, “Gado-Gado Indonesian Student Association”, “Kababayan Filipino Students Association”, “Persian Group”…), sexual orientation groups (“PrideUBC”, all kinds of GLBT groups…), disability groups, and so on. It is quite common some (though not all) of these groups try to appeal to students as if they were essentially unidimensional beings, whose life lacks any meaning if their overriding characteristics -ideally only one per person- are not nurtured. In other words, what some of these groups are saying is “We are Catholic, or Gay, or Jewish, or Chinese, or disabled, or Muslim, or women, or African Americans, or conservatives, or progressives, or Canadian… and only that. So, if you are like us, you necessarily see the world through that specific trait, and it is only natural for you to join us. We are your (homogeneus) community”.

Somehow, we humans have always tended to surround ourselves with people like us. This seems to be a natural -that is, instinctive- trend. However, it is paradoxical that nowadays that we human beings have cut ourselves off so much from the restrictions of nature (instinct) to embrace a dynamic social life (culture), are lately strongly reproducing those restrictions to an open and fruitful interaction among us by stressing that which is suposedly distinctive in us and that fundamentaly differentiates us from others. It is a sign of our communitarian times that we apparently are valuable as humans by means of belonging to a group (and to that group only), as if one of our many attributes as individuals was clearly predominant over the rest of them. Thus, according to this widespread view, it is nearly unnatural, for example, to be feminist and not to hate men; to be gay and Republican; to be Jewish and support Palestinian demands; to be an intellectual and enjoy American Idol; to be progressive and firmly defend free markets; to simultaneously love haute cuisine and McDonald´s burgers; to be a devout believer but favour a radical separation between church and state; to love your mother tongue and the landscapes that saw you growing up and not being a nationalist; to be Chinese and Spanish and black… In other words, it is unnatural to act differently than the group you supposedly belong to and which gives meaning to your existence.

Why, nowadays that freedom is the paramount social value, cannot we have multiple affiliations and unlimited contradictions? Why -what a truism- cannot we be valued just as individuals, regardless of the many families we may belong to in a given moment? Why is it so difficult to be naturally multidimensional?

Photo: ‘The flickr portrait gallery hall of excellence 2007′ © amsterdamned